I have a few paying clients still, nearly all family law, and haven't been looking for any more lately. I've been hoping that we get the grant money we were sort-of promised, which will make me full time at the Clinic, I can then get employee benefits at the University and go back to school for free, and get my Ph.D. in something that will actually get me a job. Pipe dreams. I've been putting off doing anything else until then, so I'm in limbo. Moreso than that, I've been working in the direction of closing up shop. Closing out cases, wrapping things up. Getting things done I've been putting off. It's nice to not have anything pending.
It's different being a solo, and especially working from home. When I worked for my former boss, I could leave it at the office. I didn't do work on the weekends, or even most evenings. Rarely did I bring work home. I'd usually stay until 7 or 8 on the nights I didn't have Cora, but that was more out of a feeling like 40 hours isn't enough for an associate to work. But now, working for myself, I just don't stop working. If there's something to do, I feel like I need to be working on it, instead of reading a book or heaven forbid writing something for fun, like blogging, or trying to craft something academic and get published. So, even in the evenings and weekends, I'm not getting anything else done. I realized that it was really stressing me the fuck out. To the point that it was crippling me from getting anything done or enjoying myself at all. Anyway, I'm working on it. I'm hoping to blog more. I'm hoping to write more. I want to read more. I want to enjoy my time working part-time, before I either start working full time for the Clinic, or I have to devote all of my time to practice building.
But, days spent with Vee are so nice. She's an even better baby than Cora was, and Cora was a really good baby. Vee only cries for a reason. Cora would occasionally have bouts of inconsolable crying for no reason, but Vee never has. That's a huge stresser for me, the crying for no reason, and the times it happened with Cora, generally had me a total mess. I think I'd have a nervous breakdown if I had a colicky baby, so Vee must be the universe cutting me a break for once. Vee's a cuddle whore, but she is (mostly) sleeping through the night, and we've finally gotten the hang of nursing. I still have to supplement with formula, though not as much. We're probably up to about 70/30. Part of it is that I never got back up to production after the horrific mastitis episode, but it's also because she just eats a lot. Probably because she also yacks a lot, in a terrifying, Exorcist sort of way. It doesn't bother her though, and she's definitely growing a lot. I anticipated calling her "Flower" (Violette, get it?), as I still call Cora "Bunny," but something so nice-smelling and delicate is not fitting for this baby. Most of the time I refer to her as Honey Badger. (She's really nasty, and oh! it's eating again! She does not, however, run in slow motion.)
Honey Badger don't give a shit
Cora, not surprising, is sassy as ever, and is constantly giving me attitude. She also punched some boy who pissed her off at school (ugh), and then, being my Mini Me, was horribly upset because she got in trouble for it. I try very hard to help her cope with her emotions, but I fear constantly that I end up treating her just like my mother treated me, which did not help, and at least in part, created most of my childhood emotional issues. Suck. And I see that most dealing with the violin. She has made remarkable gains with the violin lately though, and we've been fighting a lot less, thankfully. She had a little Christmas group class last weekend, which was cute (although she missed half of her song because she was dawdling in the bathroom, but oh well). She does so love an audience. She asked me the other day what "shy" meant. I told her "The complete opposite of you, my little ham."
The kid turns four on Wednesday. Holy shitballs, FOUR! Sassy and girly as can be.
Yes, that's an almost four-year-old in lipstick. And a "horsey dress," one of her favorites. (If you play some Where's Waldo, you'll see me too.)
Other than kid stuff, I've been trying to branch out and do some stuff out of the ordinary. For instance, leaving the house other than to go to court. My college roommate writes poetry, and she was the featured poet at this poetry... reading? I guess, I dunno. Poets, poetry, poems, read out loud, etc. So, I dragged Husband out to listen to some poetry. It was actually pretty fun. Although I'm big into other areas of literature, poetry is totally not my bag, other than some erotica and the occasional Haiku, but I really enjoyed it. And of course, my friend was awesome. I discovered she has a blog too. She's much more entertaining than I am. She's getting stuff published soon, so I will shamelessly plug it when it's made available for purchase.
Another thing I did recently was go attend a play, starring this (I try really hard not to call him a little boy, but he's closer in age to my daughter than me... I'm so fucking old, Jesus!) young man who is a classmate of Steven's at the community college. He's adorable, and he apparently wants to be a lawyer, so he obviously suffers from poor judgment. Anyway, the play was interesting, this one. Well done, at least for a community college performance with freshmen talent. It ain't Broadway, folks, but oh well.
Anyway, this weekend is going to be insane. Family coming in for Vee's baptism Sunday, and we're doing Cora's birthday on Saturday. Steven's moving out on Thursday into his own apartment, then we've got to reorganize and clean since one sister and her kids are staying with us, as well as (I think) Husband's parents.
I also cooked twice this week so far, and didn't take pictures either time. First time, it was because the presentation was an epic fail, the second time (tonight), I just forgot. Oh well. Tomorrow is my Crock Pot experiment with a big chunk of dead cow. Then Wednesday, I'm doing a birthday dinner for Cora (meat loaf... Alton Brown's recipe, which is awesome). Thursday will be boring ol' chicken.