Is it possible to have postpartum depression after giving birth to a law degree? If so, I swear, I have it.
I look at sweet, snuggly little Violette snoozing beside me in the bassinette, and I think, hey, I did something right. Then I look at the stack of client files I need to work on, and it makes me want to go get a book of matches and some lighter fluid. (A few of the actual clients, and opposing counsel, give me that same warm, squishy feeling as well.) Seriously, I need a change. I miss working at an actual firm, on cases with actual substance. Yet I don't seem to be motivated to put myself out there. I don't want to work a gazillion hours for crap money. (I don't really want to work a gazillion hours for great money either.) I don't want to work for douchebags.
I guess I can't complain too much. I'll have a lot more time at home with Vee than I would if I were working full time and only had a few weeks off for maternity leave. I'll have some long working days (I've got one coming up in November that I'm worried about -- literally all damn day in court, in another county, so I have to figure out what I'm going to do about my bewbs), but I'll have plenty of days where I'm home all day, napping off and on, and that's nice. Or at least I will once I get these last few cases taken care of. Then I'm not taking on anything new for awhile. Going to wait to see what happens with the grant money for the MLP, and if it comes through, I'll be able to shut down my private practice and will be working full time for them in March, which will give me the opportunity to go back to school for free and get a degree that's actually useful this time. In the meantime, I'm hoping to catch up on some reading and hopefully start writing some more. Those are things I'm excited about. Dealing with clients that want to squabble about every damn thing... ugh. Fucking family law.