My day so far:
1. Got pretty much no sleep last night, thanks to multiple bathroom trips and the difficulties of rolling over in my sleep (during which hip and back pain would wake me up).
2. Realize when getting dressed that I have reached the point where real shoes simply do not fit. Not anywhere close. Chose flip-flops over sneakers. Have not had pedicure in so long, I can't even describe the fail. Hawt!
3. About to leave the house and can't find my keys. Spend 5 minutes frantically looking for keys only to realize the keys are in my purse, the first place I had looked.
4. Actually get to the courthouse on time, and still manage to miss my case being called. (Wasn't listening for it because I didn't realize we had a substitute judge and would actually be running on time). Awesome.
5. Since Mom in that case didn't make it to court on time either, Judge had issued a show cause summons. Recalled the case when Mom shows up 15 minutes later and withdrew the summons, but her attorney hasn't had a chance to talk to her, I haven't had a chance to talk to her, so we pass it again.
6. Waddle out of courtroom a total hot mess; it's horribly hot in the courtroom, even though it's reasonably cool outside. Cannot wear my suit jacket lest I pass out, which combined with the flip-flops makes me even more of a hot mess. Bailiff about has a stroke when he sees me groan and hold my stomach in discomfort while waddling out, because he thinks I'm in labor and he'll have to catch a baby.
7. While waiting to talk to Mom from the first case, another case of mine is called and, again, I don't hear it! (Is deafness a pregnancy symptom? Or maybe it's just pregnancy has made me stupid.) Embarrassed when bailiff has to shout at me to come to the courtroom. Waddle back into courtroom with everyone already up front. Ugh!
8. Manage to get through those two cases despite all of the fail. Have to ask for 60 day reviews instead of 30 day reviews on account of popping in the month of September. County attorney says he wouldn't dream of objecting to my request. Heh. (He doesn't want to catch a baby either.)
9. Bailiffs take pity on me and sit me in front of the fan they've brought in. I open a file and a paper not tacked down goes flying across the courtroom.
10. Realize my client for the 10:15 hasn't shown up yet and it's now 10:30. I call her and she thought it was set for 11:30. She hauls ass to court.
11. Apparently no one on the 10:15 docket managed to show up on time (that's probably because by 10:15, we're usually running at least an hour behind), and there's no one in the waiting room. We take a 15 minute break, and of course, my case with my missing client is the first one called.
12. Client comes rushing in just as we get before the Judge. Whew! She apologizes profusely. At this point, the Judge makes a comment that we clearly must run on a different time zone in this county, so at least my client isn't getting nailed for the screw-up. Our cabinet worker tried to set the 60 day review for September, causing the Judge to comment that we're also apparently on a different calendar there too. (I wasn't the only one having a fail day. There were even two other attorneys who didn't show up at all today. Ugh.)
13. Finish up the case and get the hell out of there before anything else goes wrong.
I mean, seriously, what a crappy morning. Fortunately, that was my last court appearance before birthin'. My next time in court, I hope to be wearing normal clothes and actual shoes. (And not failing so hard.)