I feel like dropping my law license in the trash.
Remember that case I had where I was too personally involved? (Here and here.) My client, my friend, took his own life this weekend. His partner called me today to tell me the news.
Needless to say, I'm rather spiraling down a drain at the moment. I know, logically, that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. I mean, you can't make someone get help if they don't want to get help. Well, unless you're the Court, and you could have sent someone to a mental health facility like their attorney requested, rather than just sending them to jail. (He definitely won't be making any more court appearances, so problem solved. Recidivism statistics improved.)
After I got the news, I left the clinic early and went home to finish up the grant application that was due tonight at midnight, without having to be around other people. Got it submitted. Spoke with a new client about his hearing Wednesday. Manage to pull off the sniffling as allergies. Coordinated with friends for the funeral. Friends keep asking me why. I know exactly why. Privileged. I can't tell them. Just, he had troubles. He needed help. He didn't get it.
How many lawyers have clients that commit suicide, I wonder?