Disclaimer

This blog is not intended to provide legal advice, legal services or legal anything else. Don't sue me. All I have is debt anyway.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Spiraling

I feel like dropping my law license in the trash.

Remember that case I had where I was too personally involved? (Here and here.) My client, my friend, took his own life this weekend. His partner called me today to tell me the news.

Needless to say, I'm rather spiraling down a drain at the moment. I know, logically, that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. I mean, you can't make someone get help if they don't want to get help. Well, unless you're the Court, and you could have sent someone to a mental health facility like their attorney requested, rather than just sending them to jail. (He definitely won't be making any more court appearances, so problem solved. Recidivism statistics improved.)

After I got the news, I left the clinic early and went home to finish up the grant application that was due tonight at midnight, without having to be around other people. Got it submitted. Spoke with a new client about his hearing Wednesday. Manage to pull off the sniffling as allergies. Coordinated with friends for the funeral. Friends keep asking me why. I know exactly why. Privileged. I can't tell them. Just, he had troubles. He needed help. He didn't get it.

How many lawyers have clients that commit suicide, I wonder?

17 comments:

E.H. said...

I am so sorry. God, what a mess. You did everything you could, but we ultimately can't save people from their demons. I wish we could.

Hugs to you all.

Legally Fabulous said...

What a nightmare. So sorry you have to deal with this. Hugs.

Mama said...

Putting out a house fire with a squirt gun. . . How small and overwhelmed you must feel. How hard it is to remember all of those cases you've won, and people you've helped, in the face of such a shockingly sad end for this one. I'm thinking of your friend, and you, tonight.

Butterflyfish said...

How awful. I am so so sorry, Proto.

Izzie said...

That is so terrible. I'm so sorry.

Katie said...

I have had clients or people on my case load kill themselves. It's happened three times now. I wish there were words of wisdom I could give you- all I can is that time has slowly dulled the pain, even if I remain allergically sensitive to the suicide subject.

Anna said...

I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to have happen.

Unfortunately, I bet it happens a lot, at least to lawyers practicing in certain areas.

Which is depressing as all hell.

Hanah said...

That is just terrible. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I don't know what else to say, except that you are so strong to keep going.

Misty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
suzie said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this.

shameless domestic hussy said...

I'm so sorry. Terrible. Just terrible.

legally certifiable said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

LL said...

I'm so sorry AWP. You're right, there's nothing you could have done, and I hope that you really know and believe that. Take care of yourself - I'm glad you've had a day off to just be.

Downsized Attorney said...

That is so awful, I am so sorry to hear this.

Zach said...

Pre-law school, as a paralegal/caseworker working at a non-profit with a mentally ill clientele, one of my clients killed herself. The attorney received the suicide note as a letter and had to call the police to go to her apartment. It was awful, even now, five years later--it marked an entry into a club of legal professionals I didn't want to join. I wish you peace, and your client, too.

MJV said...

OMG - I am just reading this now. I am so very sorry!!

PT LawMom said...

I am so very sorry!!