This blog is not intended to provide legal advice, legal services or legal anything else. Don't sue me. All I have is debt anyway.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Ready to Go

I got the Money Pit repaired tonight. I had to get up crazy early this morning to drop the beast off at the dealership so Husband could give me a lift back home. Fortunately, the problem was just that Hillbilly Mechanic put a hose on backwards, and everything else checks out fine. So, it cost me another $100, but oh well. Add it to the total I've paid for the piece of crap. Of course, the dealer went through a checklist of things and marked that I have cracks in my drive belts. Like, OMG, I don't even know what those are! They didn't tell me I should replace them, it's just on the sheet of paper. My regular mechanic hasn't mentioned it, nor did the Hillbilly Mechanic. Is the Money Pit going to explode again?! Aargh!! I hate that car!! One incentive for getting a real job is being able to sell the Money Pit (or push it off a cliff) and buy a new one.

Anyway, I just need to do laundry tonight, pack tomorrow, and tie up some loose ends before I head out of town. We're headed up to the Chicago 'burbs for a cousin's wedding, and going to spend a day in Chicago to take Cora to the aquarium and visit some friends. Should be fun. Then when I get back to town I need to really buckle down and get some work done, and start getting "the green room" ready for the new addition. (I hope the kid likes green, because I'm not painting it again until she's old enough to wield a paintbrush.)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Fun with Preschoolers

This morning I woke to the usual morning sound of Husband and Cora arguing. I had to intervene. He gets impatient with her, she digs in her heels and refuses to do anything he asks, and it all goes downhill from there. Especially when he's worked the night before and he's tired. Part of the problem with their mornings is that he wants to rush her out the door and off to school because he's tired, but she wants to spend time with him because she missed him. They do a lot better when he hasn't worked the night before.

We had a talk about it later, me trying to help him understand why they fight so much: She's my mini me! She doesn't like to be told what to do, she's stubborn and independent. So, if you want her to do something, you have to explain to her that it needs to be done, even while you're being firm. You can't just bark commands at her or she shuts down, and then everybody has a bad morning. Yes, she knows what she's supposed to do in the mornings, but she likes to feel like she has some sort of control over it, starting with the clothes she wears and ending with the place she's going. She wants to be part of the dialog. For instance, instead of grabbing clothes out of the drawer and saying, "Here, get dressed," you have to ask her what she'd like to wear that day. She'll choose a shirt and a pair of pants. She even wants to choose her panties and her socks. You can't say, "Go brush your teeth," you have to say, "Hey, after we brush our teeth, we can go see our friends at school! Let's go brush our teeth!" It's all about the presentation. It's preschool diplomacy. The art of preschool diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock. The art of preschool diplomacy is getting the preschooler to do what you want while making her believe it was something she wanted to do in the first place.

Not to mention, I set firm boundaries with her in advance to mitigate arguments later. Like, I might tell her she can watch one episode of Dora in the evening before bedtime, but tell her that she has to promise there will be no whining after, and then we will have to go to bed. She can watch more Dora tomorrow. There are times she'll still whine or cry if she's really tired or grumpy, but normally she'll comply without argument, and repeat that there was only one Dora and it's now bedtime.

But since I also understand Cora all too well, I know that she needs help in developing control over her emotions. When she gets worked up, I try to get her to calm down and talk through it so that she'll verbalize her emotions, instead of just melting down. And that's every 3 year old, I know, but that was really not something I was good at as a kid, even when older. Part of it is probably because whenever I'd be upset about something, my mother would just yell at me and tell me to stop crying (yeah, that's helpful). To this day, I'm still a crier when I get extremely angry/frustrated and I can't even verbalize the emotions or express them in healthier ways (like punching a retail customer in the face, which was unfortunately frowned upon). So, I want Cora to work on those skills, and that's our job to help her.

Anyway, I think Husband's a little stressed about the upcoming additional female in the house. But we'll work through it. At least until the excrement hits the rotary oscillator.


Not that I'm considering myself a shoo-in, but a local insurance defense firm is looking for an associate. Being the former queen of insurance defense, and having experience in all of their practice areas from the plaintiffs' side, surely I can at least land an interview (and at least I'm not showing too much yet, I can still pass for fat... I can drop the pregnancy bomb when I get an offer and let them know I'll need a few weeks off!) Unless some unemployed douchebag from a better school decides to apply. Always a possibility. Anyway, do I really want to go back to slaving away for the billable hour and driving all over the state to attend motion hours in bumblefuck? Well, if it means not practicing family law and having a regular paycheck with a living wage...


Even as a Catholic, I have to include "Happy Zombie Jesus Day!" and piss off all the prudes out there, because it cracks me up. I mean, if ya can't laugh at Jesus rising from the dead after the crucifixion where he died for sins with a hankering for brains, what can you laugh at? I'm pretty sure God has a phenomenal sense of humor.

So, to celebrate the death and resurrection of Our Lord and Savior and the miracle of bunnies crapping out chocolate eggs, the in-laws came to town. While they got settled in, I managed to con my mom into taking Cora to her classmates' birthday party at the bouncy place. (I am epic win!) Although in retrospect, I'm rather bitter because I realized... you know, my mother is willing to take Cora to a birthday party, but shit, I would have been hauled in front of the elders of the Crazy Cult for even fucking acting like I wanted to attend a birthday party as a kid. Don't even get me started that she bought Cora an "Easter dress." Cora will never understand how batshit crazy her grandmother was (still is). Ugh.

With the in-laws, we dyed eggs last night and went clothes shopping for Cora. We went to mass this morning, had lunch, quickly hid the eggs around the house for Cora to find (it's been monsooning all week), and sent the grandparents along their way. My mother-in-law's Shih Tzus came too, one of which (the little shit I had to chase around the neighborhood a few weeks ago) had to be drugged because of the thunderstorms. I've finally convinced Husband that our dog needs to be drugged too, because we haven't been able to sleep the last two nights thanks to the storms and the dog's subsequent freak-outs, which then woke up Cora, and caused her to crawl into bed with us citing "the rain is scary" as the reason. So, calling the vet tomorrow is on the To Do list.

Lots on the To Do list this week. We're leaving on Thursday for Chicago for a family wedding, and spending some extra time up there to take Cora to the aquarium and see friends and such. So, need to get some work done this week to tie things up before I leave. I also need to take the Money Pit to the mechanic to fix why the check engine light came on, two weeks after getting the engine replaced. Ugh.

Speaking of the Money Pit, our neighborhood creeper car thief is back in action. I saw Creeper last Saturday, walking around the block, twice, in the pouring rain, being a creeper and lurking around. Then on Saturday, I found my car trunk popped and my glove compartment opened. Nothing stolen, of course. After Creeper hit my car the first time and stole my iPod (which I got back and his ass got arrested), I've stopped keeping anything in it other than empty fast food containers. So, now I'm really pissed because clearly getting arrested the first time hasn't deterred him from committing the same damn crime, even trying to hit the same victims who are his own neighbors, and if I find Creeper lurking around my car again, that bitch is getting the business end of my baseball bat. But, seriously, crime in my neighborhood is getting to be a problem. In addition to Car Creeper, there are Child Molester Van Creepers, who have been spotted parked on the street in a creepy van with tinted windows, watching certain houses, which ended up getting burgled. So, Husband thinks I've lost my shit, but I want to install a security camera in the front of our house. Because I don't really want to deter the criminals, I just want to catch them in the act and send the assholes to prison. I hate criminals. Hate them. Not only do they break the law, but most of them can't pay a lawyer to defend them, so what the hell use are they other than bogging down an already taxed public defense system? Assholes. Hate them.

Anyway, I should go to sleep, it's after 1 a.m. Really sad to admit it, but another reason why I didn't sleep so good last night is we watched the new Doctor Who episode last night, which was creepy as shit.

Creepy as Shit

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


It's only Wednesday, and it feels like the week should have ended days ago. I'm exhausted.

I took a mental health day on Tuesday, and, honestly, think I need another one tomorrow. Tonight was the visitation, tomorrow is the funeral. I'm just worn out.

I've got a lot of work to catch up on, but right now I just feel like sleeping.

As an aside, should I lose someone in my immediate family, I really could not endure a visitation, standing in a morose receiving line, like some sort of gauntlet, having to shake everyone's hand, accepting their awkward attempts at condolescences while trying to not collapse into a sobbing ball of hysteria. Short of throwing myself on the funeral pyre, I can't think of a worse thing to endure after the loss of a loved one. Maybe some people find it comforting that an endless line of people came out in support of you and/or someone you loved, and it's lovely that they do, but I just find it quite horrible. In times of mourning and loss, I just like to be left the hell alone. I guess everyone's different. I dunno. I also rather hate flowers, so I might just be a weirdo.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


I feel like dropping my law license in the trash.

Remember that case I had where I was too personally involved? (Here and here.) My client, my friend, took his own life this weekend. His partner called me today to tell me the news.

Needless to say, I'm rather spiraling down a drain at the moment. I know, logically, that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. I mean, you can't make someone get help if they don't want to get help. Well, unless you're the Court, and you could have sent someone to a mental health facility like their attorney requested, rather than just sending them to jail. (He definitely won't be making any more court appearances, so problem solved. Recidivism statistics improved.)

After I got the news, I left the clinic early and went home to finish up the grant application that was due tonight at midnight, without having to be around other people. Got it submitted. Spoke with a new client about his hearing Wednesday. Manage to pull off the sniffling as allergies. Coordinated with friends for the funeral. Friends keep asking me why. I know exactly why. Privileged. I can't tell them. Just, he had troubles. He needed help. He didn't get it.

How many lawyers have clients that commit suicide, I wonder?

Monday, April 18, 2011

MILP Roundup #199

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup** is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, Attorney Work Product and Butterflyfish blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday. Next week, Butterflyfish will have it.

Here's what's up in MILP-land:

First, Happy Birthday to CM!

Cowgirl in the City gets her a taste a kiddie funk.

Dinei will NOT eat the entire bag of Cadbury eggs. (Although I won't judge her if she does.)

preps for the zombie apocalypse. (And rightfully so!)

Ms. Erb is missing the Mommy Gene. (Soooo right there with you!)

Butterflyfish has had Angelfish for 3 months now.

-R- doesn't judge.

LC is cranky.

Izzie has book reviews.

Shan has next year's schedule.

LL has a Spring Spree. (And I have total closet and wardrobe envy.)

Jenny's all pedicured... and covered in snow.

Shameless Domestic Hussy
is the Pregantor.

RG reminisces.

WNWL has decisions.

Cristy says NO.

EH has a report card.

SuzieJD ponders the sisterhood.

If you would like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at their respective sites.

**Hat tip to the “original” Roundup Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and Thanks, But No Thanks

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Growing babies and lawyering

That's pretty much what's up. I had an eventful week in court. Some good, some bad, some ridiculous. I got a new paying divorce client this week, so that's good. My observations from today's session of domestic violence court (my second appearance in it this week) is that no matter how long someone's been practicing law, they can still be a crappy trial lawyer and fail, hard, at the rules of evidence.

I remember my very first hearing. It was on a property issue in a divorce case. I had documents to introduce as evidence. And I laid my ground work with my witness, and showed the documents to the other attorney, and used them in my witness's testimony... and then forgot to move the court to enter the evidence into the record as an exhibit. Ugh! Fortunately, my judge gently reminded me of this, and my evidence was admitted. But I still felt like a dumbass. It was an amateur mistake. However, that's to be expected. I'd been practicing law for like 10 minutes. Sure haven't made that mistake again, and bet I never will!

When you've been practicing law for, well, probably since "law" was invented, like Grandpa today, you should know, for instance, what hearsay is. Or what's relevant to the proceedings. Or that your client can't print medical information off of WebMD and read it into the record. Or that photographs are admissible if your witness testifies that they are a fair and accurate representation of the subject matter (you don't need the photographer there if you have a witness to lay that groundwork). The other attorney was just as bad. She won, but she was terrible. She never objects to any of the stupid crap the other side is doing. The guy's reading his testimony off of a (lengthy!) document. He's testifying to conversations he had with multiple people out of court, which were very prejudicial and very much not admissible. The judge finally shuts him down on the hearsay and the medical testimony, without objections from the other attorney (probably because she was sick of hearing him talk). And then she has to coach the other attorney into laying her groundwork to get the photographs admitted. Their hearing went on for over an hour. Then, in true Kentucky fashion, they spend about ten minutes arguing about basketball tickets. (We actually have a supreme court case that addresses the issue of season tickets in divorcing spouses. I'm surprised we don't have a statute. It's that important.) It was the worst hearing I've ever seen, and that includes 1L trial advocacy. And the guy was possibly one of the worst witnesses I've ever seen, and that was not just because of his attorney. For such a long hearing, he never managed to say anything helpful, in fact, managed to hurt himself more. He had a decent argument to make in his defense, but he never got there, and they did not have the evidence to support it. Granted, for domestic violence hearings, the standard is a preponderance of the evidence, so he probably would have lost anyway, but I hope the guy gets better counsel for his criminal trial, or he'll definitely have a basis for an appeal when he gets convicted.

Anyway, beyond that, I've had lots to do this week with grant-writing and covering the clinic cases, and my own stuff, ugh. Busy. We had our ultrasound on Monday, and fortunately there is no fetus fail this time. Other than our fetus fails to have a penis. Another girl. Everyone always says "Oh, I don't care what we're having as long as it's healthy." Whatever. I really wanted a son. I know I shouldn't be disappointed and just be extremely grateful that, this time, there's nothing wrong. Whenever I imagined myself as a mother, I always pictured sons, not daughters. Not that there's anything wrong with girls, girls are obviously awesome, but I would have liked a son. Oh well. Clearly the Y chromosome is dying off among our group of friends, who all have girls. Only a couple of my friends have boys. We just did a group picture for Easter, six little girls in little Easter dresses. We've talked about trying again for a third, but that just means we'll have three girls. And then someday we'll have three teenage girls. And then I will have to move into a mental institution, whew. Anyway, hopefully Cora will like having a little sister. The day before the ultrasound, she said she wanted a little sister. Then when we told her it was a girl, she was upset and said she wanted a brother instead. (I think ultimately she'll prefer a little sister.)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

MILP Roundup #198

Is there. Next time, it's here.

Sunday, April 3, 2011


Cora and I did the AVOL AIDS Walk today. One of my colleagues/law school classmates is on the AVOL Board, and after being non-committal about doing the walk since getting the Facebook invites/reminders, I decided I could get off my fat ass and walk around downtown this lovely afternoon for a good cause.

Cora graciously agreed to part with the television and join me.

After the walk, which lasted about an hour, we got ice cream. And such is why I'm a fatty; I follow up exercise with ice cream. Oh well, I'm pregnant, I need the dairy. And it dulls the pain of my throbbing pelvis. Ridiculous pain, ugh. I think we'll be getting a summer membership to the Y so I can float my fat ass in the pool like a big fat whale.

Just like this. Except with stretch marks. And a full coverage swimsuit.

Saturday, April 2, 2011







(Yes, we're down by 10 at the half. My head may explode before the end of this game.)

UPDATE: UConn sucks. Go BUTLER!