I don't have the focus to write a full post on my career issues. Let's just say I have decisions I need to make. Foonberg's right about not being able to build a legal practice while half-assing it (he put it more eloquently, of course). My hesitation continues to be that I just don't want to practice by myself, but I feel like I'm making a mistake if I give it up so soon. Not to mention, I've at least partially invested in it.
Still, there are things about solo practice that I really really hate. One of it is the billing. I want to write down my time and have it magically turn into money. I don't want to spend an entire day once a month just making bills and checking them and double-checking them and sending them out and going to the bank and probably failing at math and then not paying myself on accident and wondering why the hell I'm $200 over in my escrow account (better over than under I guess). Yeah. These are things I do not enjoy.
I like practicing law. I don't like being the end all, be all of the decision-making. I've been practicing for like 10 minutes, what do I know. I want the training wheels back on the bike, I'm wobbling.
There's the rainmaking, which I really don't mind at all. I'm a social butterfly, I like meeting new people and making new contacts, and my background in sales helps quite a bit. But it's also an exhausting activity, and something I don't really feel like doing when I've already worked 50 hours that week. So for right now, I don't feel like rainmaking.
I don't see how I can possibly make any money from the court appointments. While I've got 5 cases right now, they eat up my time by sitting around in the courthouse waiting for my case to be called. I don't know why it takes so long, but it does. The other day I had the 10:45 case. I got called at 1pm. The obvious solution would be to just arrive later, but the one day I was ten minutes late coming from a hearing in another county, I missed the hearing. Ugh. Does not bode well for good time management.
I also hate most of my clients. I thought solo practice meant I could choose my own clients. I can't. I have to take what I can get, and the court appointments are even worse. When they call me, I want to throw the phone out the window. Tired of them.
Clearly, I need a change. But I'm hesitant to make one. I'm in limbo. I need stability.
My friend and her dad offered me more hours at their firm. It's still contract work, and doesn't pay well. But it's enough to live on, and would be more than I'm currently making, really. It would mean getting off the court appointment list and likely not practicing on my own anymore.
I dunno what to do. If I'm gonna practice on my own, I need a real office and I need someone to do all the stupid billing stuff for me, because I clearly fail at it. I would need to devote myself to it, and not feel so schizophrenic about it. But I still want the MLP to turn into a full time job. (They're sending me to Baltimore in March for a conference. Seems promising.)
I just can't figure out what I want to do with myself.