The past few weeks, I've been on a roller coaster in my professional life. Some days things just really click, and I'm sure I'm doing the right work, in the right place, and doing it well. Then some days, it's like, WTF? All of my doubts and frustrations have to do with family law. I'm just not sure I'll be cut out for this stuff long-term. Family law is just really important. The welfare of children, the stability of families... hugely important. I think that's the problem. I'm taking it all too seriously, and putting too much weight on my own shoulders when this is supposed to just be a job not an all-consuming life's work. Not to mention I have an ethical responsibility to do my best, and it's tough to say I'm doing my best if I can't keep a clear head because I'm drowning myself in the responsibility of it all. I need to start taking myself a lot less seriously.
So, it's a work in progress, and ultimately, it might just be it's work that's not for me. I'm happier when working torts cases. Med mal, slip and falls, auto accidents, even defamation (I love defamation... it's all the drama of family law but without the bad outcomes). Criminal cases are okay too, but I haven't really done enough defense cases to know if I'll have any problems with it.
In the meantime, I'm trying to bug the local community college enough to give me an adjunct teaching position this fall in either history or poly sci. I think it would be a good distraction for me when I'm out here by myself, and a way to focus my energy on things not watching shows on Netflix. Someday, when I'm an old geezer and the tuition's free, I'll probably go back and do a PhD in history. History is my passion; law is really just the job.