Disclaimer

This blog is not intended to provide legal advice, legal services or legal anything else. Don't sue me. All I have is debt anyway.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Ending a Very Long Two Weeks

The past two weeks have been exhausting. Crazy clients, crazy lawyers, crazy assignments. Fortunately, The Boss went to Motion Hour today, so I can chill at the office for a little while and look through the stuff piled on my desk.

Last night, I finished up a response memo to a summary judgment motion on one of our lower-value cases, being defended by expensive attorneys. The not-so-fun thing about plaintiff's work, is you don't get paid by the hour to respond to the 40-page boredom produced by the defense lawyers who do. Yes, thank you for citing every single case in our state's history, when just a few would have done nicely. This is a memorandum in support of a motion for summary judgment, not judicial history, get over it. Boring. My response was half as long, more direct, relied on fewer cases, but the cases I chose were exactly on point. I wouldn't say it was the most stunning piece of work ever written, but it'll get the job done. No summary judgment for you!

In other news, I have a new policy. If you're a douche, I no longer accept your phone calls. You will have to send written correspondence, so that when I respond in writing, tactfully but firmly, I have the opportunity to scream motherfucker! at you, without the unpleasantness of you knowing about it. That's the southern way, ya'll. We're always polite, even when we hate you. We just vent about it later behind your back.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

Ha - I love the paragraph about the douche bags. That's why I screen my calls, particularly at work, so I can yell at the phone then pick it up and make a professional call.