This blog is not intended to provide legal advice, legal services or legal anything else. Don't sue me. All I have is debt anyway.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The other shoe

Cora is back in the hospital, in the pediatric ICU. After a perfect pediatrician visit on Monday, Tuesday night she didn't eat so great, and by Wednesday afternoon she wasn't eating much at all. At first we thought she was just off her schedule and maybe overstimulated by doting grandparents. But by the evening she wouldn't take a bottle at all, she was just really sleepy (even barely fussing at getting her diaper changed, which normally makes her squall like she's being tortured) and she suddenly felt so cold. We took her temperature and it was very low. She began getting very pale. The pediatrician on call told us to take her to the ER immediately. Even still, we thought it was just precaution, that she was actually okay. But you know it's bad when you get taken in immediately at an ER at a public hospital, and they even kick someone else out of a room to accommodate you.

Anyway, a few chest x-rays later, it seems the CCAM ruptured and is now trapping air (or at least that's what I think is going on... other than knowing a lung has two lobes, I know nothing about pulmonary anything). They also think she has pneumonia in her left lung (the good one). They've intubated her, they're giving her antibiotics, they're going to do a lumbar puncture today to test for meningitis (more to just rule it out... any time an infant ends up in the hospital for a suspected infection, they're going to test for meningitis). Overall, I really don't know what's going on, what's happening. They got her stabilized and her temperature is back up to normal. She still wasn't urinating this morning, so they put in a catheter. There's talk of a chest tube, although I don't really know what that even is exactly. I don't know if they're going to do surgery, but likely not if she has pneumonia, and if she does, we don't know how serious it is.

Husband's parents had left yesterday to go home, and were going to leave for Chicago tomorrow, but they came back here last night to be with us at the hospital. Husband and his parents came back to the house about 4am, and I stayed in the room with Cora. I think I've had two hours of sleep, I'm not sure. I came back home at shift change and Husband went back to the hospital to be there for rounds. When his parents wake up, I'm going to return to the hospital with them.

I'm so exhausted, physically, emotionally. My eyes hurt from crying, my head hurts, and yet going to sleep is the last thing I want to do. They let me hold her for a few minutes last night, which was more terrifying than comforting. My wiggly little bunny was suddenly this frail creature, all these tubes and wires, and she was still so cold and pale. I'm absolutely terrified, to the point that it's crippling. I just don't know how we went from having a healthy baby at birth (which we didn't even expect), a healthy baby two days ago, to having a baby we almost lost last night.


LL said...

Oh my god, Proto. I need to read this again to get all the details straight, but I wanted to comment right away. I'll be thinking about you all day and praying for you all- keep us updated as you can. Your little Cora has already proven she's a fighter!

divine angst said...

Oh gosh. I will be thinking of you and praying for you -- how terrifying!

legally certifiable said...

Oh how terrifying! I hope that everything goes well for you and Cora.

PT-LawMom said...

Oh no!! I am so sorry to hear this. :( I'll be praying for you all. It's so hard to be in the NICU with all those sick babies and never knowing what will happen next. Please keep us posted.