This blog is not intended to provide legal advice, legal services or legal anything else. Don't sue me. All I have is debt anyway.

Friday, October 19, 2007


Last night was the moot court oral argument. Bleh. One of my co-workers was a judge on another panel, and there was much complaint about that panel just grilling them with questions and not letting them actually give their prepared argument. I would have rather had that. Instead I had chirping crickets and blank stares. They'd practically given my entire argument during appellant's time anyway. Okay then, I'll just go sit back down now with several minutes left instead of standing here rambling. But the important thing is it's over, and provided I didn't make moot court (I'm reasonably sure of that), I can get on with my life, with my newly earned credit hour. (At our school, we're 1 credit hour short after 1L, and have to make it up somewhere along the way.)

Today, I got some reading done, went to class, worked on some stuff for ILS and Women's Law Caucus, then went to work. When I got to work, my mother called me. I had just talked to her 20 minutes before, wherein she advised she and her brother were going to take a road trip to visit their brother [in a state that borders ours geographically] 6 hours away. This sounds reasonable, right? Not for my family.

My family cannot follow basic directions, nor can they read a map. We apparently carry a gene for the incapacity to travel. It's almost to the level of mental retardation, and I'm not exaggerating. For instance, just last week my mother called to tell me she was lost on her way home and needed help... on a road she travels on quite frequently (this is not a large city, there are only a few main roads, and she was on one of them). She often gets lost on straight road. And it's not just her, it's her entire side of my family. I don't think my grandparents actually meant to emigrate from Italy, I think they just got lost. Personally, I'm fairly good with directions, and I can actually read a map, but I have been known to get ridiculously lost on occasion, so I'm not completely immune (one time I got lost in the Chicago suburbs for nearly 2 hours trying to find my way back to the hotel after a wedding. It was too late to call anyone, and there wasn't even anything open to go ask for directions, it was really pathetic.)

Anyway, my mother has only seen her brother about a dozen times since she moved to our state as a newlywed 30 years ago. She talks to him frequently, but the whole travel thing just doesn't happen, because someone's going to get seriously lost. In general she refuses to drive on the interstate anyway (because she would get lost), and today she had to call me to ask how to actually get to the interstate (thus the first conversation we had). I advised her that if she sees a "Welcome to Canada" sign, I was not going to go get her, she would just have to become Canadian. Between her and my uncle, this is a definite possibility.

Fast forward 20 minutes... to top it off, just as I get to the office, my mother calls me back. She's locked her keys in the car, at her brother's house, with the ignition running. I'm like, no big deal, just call AAA. Well, she let her AAA membership expire, because she said it was too expensive. (Yes, and so is paying Pop-a-Lock $50 to let you back into your car.) Husband had to drive over there with his AAA card to get the job done for free. I told Husband we're going to start deducting his mother-in-law as a dependent.

So, my mother and my uncle left 8 hours ago and haven't arrived yet. The trip is supposed to take 6 hours. My mother's phone is turned off, which means she's not getting service. While my uncle lives in civilization, the way there... not so much. If you hear on the news about 50-something-year-old brother and sister who went missing during a road trip, that will be them, driving around lost, probably somewhere in Canada.

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Wow, that is unbelievable - getting lost on your way home? They probably have some actual spatial difficulties.

We (by which I mean, my husband) did the lock the key in the car thing at our local mall once - our solution, since we didn't have AAA, was for him to take a cab home and back with a spare key. I felt like an idiot hanging out in the parking lot reading a magazine near our running car. I felt like yelling at everyone who went by "This isn't my fault!" :)