This blog is not intended to provide legal advice, legal services or legal anything else. Don't sue me. All I have is debt anyway.

Friday, August 31, 2007


I took another day off school to sit around and feel sorry for myself. Also, I have to drop Italian. My weekly ultrasound appointments will be Wednesday mornings, and there's no way I'd be out in time to make it to Italian that morning. Which means I need to come up with another way to fulfill my language requirement for my master's degree. I'm not really in the mood to care if I finish my master's in the Spring or not, but I can always pay a ridiculous $800 for a correspondence course to finish up in Spanish instead and not have to sit in a classroom to do it. (I had this nasty habit in undergrad of only taking either 2 or 3 semesters of a language and never taking the fourth required by my graduate program. I had two semesters of German and Italian, and three of Spanish. That was all I needed to graduate, but then never finished.)

Husband had a really bad night at work last night, and they lost a patient. He works in an ICU and death isn't an unusual occurrence, but with our current circumstances, it got to him. Fortunately, he's off work for the next week. He'd taken off for the holiday for our trip to Chicago, which sadly we couldn't take. I'm really disappointed we can't go. Our friends are having this splendid affair, a large Catholic latino wedding, which is gonna be one helluva party. Husband had planned on drinking both our shares of the open bar, plus some. I planned on shaking my large belly on the dance floor, showing off my sad excuse for dance moves. Bad timing all around.

I am feeling better this evening though. Not fantastic, but better. I guess I finally had enough of sitting on the couch and crying and dwelling on the worst-case scenario. I have to stay positive or all I'll do is flunk out of school, because that would make things sooo much better. Concentrating on school, and the activities I'm responsible for, will help get my mind off things, especially the things I have no control over. Tonight Husband and I left the house and went to our favorite sushi bar. We're allowing ourselves to hope while still being realistic about our situation. Hope for the best and plan for the worst.

It's strange though, I still don't want to talk to the people I actually know though, which is probably why I keep posting here behind the veil of anonymity instead. I finally talked to my mother tonight, which just made me irritated. While Husband was irritated that his mother felt the need to notify every known relative of our situation, I'm irritated with my mother that she refuses to believe that anything is actually wrong with the baby because she "talked with some people" and they said that cysts disappear all the time and so it's no big deal. Unless those "people" happen to be experts in congenital defects, yeah, again, not really helping. I know our mothers are just trying to help, but geez, there's a reason I've been keeping my phone turned off. I just want to be with my husband and my dog and shut out the rest of the world. Yet here I am blogging to the world. This avenue for my random thought process is strangely therapeutic.

But we're just going to ease back into the outside world. We're going to go visit our friends with the new baby this weekend, since they just got released from the hospital and are at home. Tomorrow, should the weather be nice, we're going to take Family Dog for a short drive to the countryside and have a picnic and let her annoy some wildlife. Life will go on, regardless of the outcome.

1 comment:

PT-LawMom said...

(((HUGS))) My mother does that, too. In her attempt to stay positive, she makes me feel like she's devaluing my feelings or making light of a bad situation. It's just her way of coping.

Hope this upcoming week brings better news your way.