Dissolution and organization

I've been doing some after-hours legal work lately, as personal favors. Two involve divorces, one involves matters of power-of-attorney and a will (which then reminded me that I need to draft wills for us... I have a holographic one, but we've changed our minds about a few things), another two wills, a landlord-tenant issue, and business organizations. I don't mind doing it, it's nice when what I learned in law school is actually useful.

The divorces though... ick. One friend isn't going to file, against my advice. Her husband's abandoned them, and he's not paying anything. But she doesn't want to go through the expense of divorce, so what can you do. I was able to finish settlement negotiations for another friend, who'd been dumped by her last attorney for being too difficult. Getting involved in friends' divorces is bad news, but our grandmothers were best friends, and my Nonna would be rattling chains in my closet if I didn't help her out. Anyway, they were close to settlement except for one condition that her husband refused to agree to, and he thought he could force her to sign without that condition because she didn't have a lawyer anymore. He was a bit surprised when she ended up with free legal counsel; suddenly, he's paying an hourly attorney's rate, and she's not, and going before a judge didn't seem so appealing anymore. So, I negotiated with his attorney to get that condition in there, and got one other thing she wanted. Still not a great deal, but it's the best one she could make, and probably the best one she could get since I don't think she would have done any better before the judge. Her last two attorneys shared that opinion. Regardless, she didn't want to go through the motions (or expense) of retaining another attorney to fight it out in court. Probably a good idea.

But, it was nice to be able to help. Also nice to work with a former classmate, who's with a firm in The City. I do miss the hustle and bustle of practice in The City. It's a lot different there, particularly considering local family court rules. Although the rules in The City are absurdly complicated, they have a better system in place because they have family court judges, they have mandatory co-parenting classes and classes for kids going through divorce, and if there's even an accusation of substance abuse, there is random drug testing. Out here there's none of the classes, and the court has to specifically order drug testing, and it has to be paid by the parties, which is super expensive because it has to be hair follicle testing rather than urine testing, because people here are experts at faking the urine tests. Also, instead of family law judges, we have domestic relations commissioners who hold hearings, and then the circuit court judges will sign off on whatever they decide. Overall though, I enjoy the legal community better here than in The City. Even if you blink and you miss motion hour. Even if I can count on one hand the number of attorneys under 40. (Two hands for 50.)

Anyway, it's been a busy couple weeks and will continue to be busy through the end of the year. Settlements and custody disputes, oh my! I have several appointments over the next couple weeks, including a hearing with a client I'm not actually convinced is lucid. It's rather problematic. I also have a disclosure deadline coming up in a ridiculous custody case, with the final hearing after the new year. It's like the crazy is coming out of the woodwork. Happy holidays! Nothing like plenty of nuts to go with your nutcracker.

Lawyers of the Year 2009

Angela Ford was selected, along with three other female attorneys (well, one of which is Justice Sotomayor, of course), as Lawyers of the Year for 2009 by Lawyers USA. There were no women selected last year, so 2009 was obviously full of bad-ass chicks. Pretty awesome.

And hilarity ensues

Dear Mediocre Law School:

I wish to thank you for your phone call yesterday evening, at 7:30 p.m., interrupting my valuable time with my child. It is the week before Christmas, and this was her final evening in Small Town for the year, since I'm working half weeks the next two weeks, out here two hours away from home. So, obviously, I was ecstatic to receive your call. I immediately started laughing when the caller identified herself as being with the law school. Rather than waiting for the usual spiel, I cut to the chase: You're calling to ask for money, aren't you?

The caller was polite and apologetic. She said any amount would help. Again, I started laughing. No, no, no... I've paid my three year's tuition, I said. No, no, no, no, no, no. However, I should have been more clear, rather than simply jovial in my refusal: It isn't that I can't afford to give any money, even though (as you well know) our loans came into repayment last month. Rather, it's that I won't give you money. Not now, nor will I ever, give another penny to the law school. If I win the lottery tomorrow, and suddenly find myself absurdly rich, the law school will still not get a penny more of my money.

I don't think I need to do a break-down of why that is. I mean, I'm sure you've heard it all before. But, just because I purchased my law diploma from you, does not mean that I owe you any sort of continuing financial support.

In the alternative, I am happy to support any of the quality student-run organizations that actually work for the current students. You remember them, right? The ones currently paying tuition and getting nothing in return?

So, in conclusion, don't call me again. Ever. You won't get money, you will simply be laughed at. I'll soon be making another donation to my graduate program, I'll be sure to send you a copy of the check.

Suck it.

Very truly yours,

Proto Attorney, Class of 2009

Holiday crazy

The holidays are getting a little crazy. Busy at the office, everyone wants settlement money and child custody and their heat fixed, etc etc. I worked late nights last week, getting stuff done, making up for being gone a day and a half the week before. But the holidays are almost here.

We're having some friends over on Friday for some excessive drinking of alcoholic beverages holiday cheer. Then I need to get our Christmas cards sent out once they arrive this week. I'm totally cheating, because I'm printing labels and the Christmas cards are those dopey template ones where you just get a family picture printed on them, so I don't even have to sign our names, I just stuff them in the envelopes and go. So much easier, and so much cheaper than regular Christmas cards too. I can't believe I haven't done this every year. Even when I was single and it was just me and the bunnies. Oh well, now I know better and will do this every year.

Of course, this means actually having a family photo taken, which means forcing the husband to shave and put on clothes that aren't wrinkled. I needed to do that anyway, because that was the Christmas gift request from Mother in Law. So, we combined the family photo session with Cora's 2 year pics. My friend Laurie was nice enough to squeeze us into her very busy end-of-semester schedule to take the photos. Here's a preview.

Laurie got to witness one of Cora's very dramatic meltdowns. Husband made the fatal mistake of taking away her bucket of foam letters that she loves, because we were going to take the family photo. This resulted in Cora stomping off to her room, slamming the door and sobbing into her folded arms while leaned over onto her mattress. Very dramatic. So, we did what any responsible parent of a toddler in the middle of a tantrum would do: bribe her with a cookie. The cookie chilled her enough that we got a few more pictures, then Cora proceded to feed her new talking Cookie Monster doll the remainder of her cookie. Makes sense, the thing does ask for cookies, afterall. Cookie! Om nom nom nom nom! Fortunately, we have a canine vacuum cleaner for situations like that.

I suppose I should put up a tree of some sort, but we kinda didn't want to fool with it this year. Cora really likes trees, but can't keep her grubby little fingers off of the ornaments. I figure we'll put up a tree next year when she's less prone to destroying it.

Anyway, that's all going on. Work work work. Going to see The Princess and the Frog this week sometime with my upstairs neighbor (or by myself, in the alternative, which makes me a sad person, really). Then looking forward to some time with the family, and our friends. Next Wednesday evening, I'm having my first girls' night out in months... fondue and vino!